


I'm Afraid (but not of you)

by FireEmblemFanGirl



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Anxiety, Fear, Homophobia, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireEmblemFanGirl/pseuds/FireEmblemFanGirl
Summary: When young prince Inigo comes out to his family only to be met with his grandfather's abuse it stays with him even once in Nohr. Can he come to trust again? AU where Chrom's father didn't die in the first war.





	I'm Afraid (but not of you)

I was ten years old when I realized I was different. I had never really felt attracted to someone else before, yet here I was, in love with my best friend. The only problem? I am a prince. My parents, sister, cousin, aunt and uncle were all very accepting of me being gay. But my grandfather was not accepting. Once he found out, he hit me. Many times. He believed that he could change me. My sister tried to protect me, but that only angered him further. He began to hit me more frequently. Telling me to man up and that we would find me a bride so that I would forget about such foolishness.

Many years later:

Now I am incredibly far from the land I called home, my grandfather long dead, having passed in the war. I am still afraid. I cannot let anyone here know that I am gay. I don't want to be hurt again. I now serve as a retainer to the prince here. He is kind to me. I am afraid that I might be falling in love with him. If anyone here finds out that I'm gay, I'll be hurt again. I will swallow everything I feel. I will not suffer again.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Even though I have no attraction to them, I spend my free time flirting with women. It sets up the delusion that I am straight. Although it feels wrong, I will not let anyone even consider anything that will result in me getting hurt. Milord has told me on countless occasions to stop flirting. To try to settle down. How can I marry if none understand the true me? The only ones who truly know me here are my dear cousin and friend. I have come to accept that I am in love with my lord. I wish that my grandfather's actions would not haunt me, but they do. I want to be able to trust again. But how can I? I still bare the scars he gave me. I cannot believe anybody anymore. I apologize milord. Maybe one day I will have the courage to tell you everything.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
We were all drinking after a wondrous victory. Being of Feroxi blood, I am very good at holding my alcohol. Milord Xander, it appears, cannot handle his alcohol very well. While under the influence, he confided in me that he was gay. I did not know how to react to this. Here was the man I loved, drunk and telling me that he liked men. I stayed quiet and nursed my own drink, trying to hold back my tears.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He noticed that I had been quieter. He noted that it began around the time that we had drunk together. He asked me what was wrong. If he had done something to upset me. Gods I love this kind, selfless man. I tried to smile, to tell him I was fine. But all of the pain that I had suppressed for well over a decade came bubbling back up to the surface. I broke. I told him everything. My grandfather, the abuse, my anxiety, that I adored him. I stopped as soon as I realized what had passed through my lips. Shit. I had not intended to reveal that. I quickly began to panic, until he pulled me into an embrace and in a soft voice he muttered: "I love you too." I leaned into the embrace and began to cry as he held me close. I leaned up to kiss him and couldn't help the warmth that spread through me as he kissed me back, a warm hand on the back of my head.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Y'all. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Poor Inigo. Someone go and give him a hug.


End file.
